QUESTION: What makes a person a great scientist? ANSWER: The ability to perform a kaigen in real life. A kaigen, “eye-opening,” is what the Emperor of Japan did for the enormous bronze Buddha at Nara in 752 AD.

   The eyes of that Buddha, which is still there, are each 3 ft. 4 in. in diameter (1.02 m.).

   A few days ago I had the pleasure of proofreading Issue 9 of your Young Scientists Journal, whose theme is nanotechnology and whose message is that “small is taking over the world” (as Muna Oli puts it in the conclusion to her excellent article). That message inspired me to write this blog, which is about one of Writing’s smallest, and most powerful, things: the hyphen.

   “Masterful writing” simply means writing that is done excellently at high speed. For example, a scientific article that’s written in 3 hours, is error-free, and is immediately accepted for publication is “masterful writing,” while a scientific article that takes 4 days to write, is turned in, and is sent back to the author with the notation, “Needs work,” is not.

   Scientists are not exactly famous for speaking clearly except to each other. My friend and fellow Science Club author Mike Bennett recently sent me the classic example: a “scientist” explaining how the reciprocating dingle arm confabulating smoke blower pro actually works.

   In 2006, a group of 5 Boeing engineers decided to break the distance record for throwing a fruitcake. The attempt would be made at an annual event that’s sort of a cross between a science fair and a food fight: the Great Fruitcake Toss, which is held in Manitou Springs, Colorado USA, on the first Saturday each January.

   One of the many jobs I’ve held in Writing over the years was Proofreader at a publishing house. Went to work, got coffee, proofed book manuscripts for 8 hours, went home. The job required me to proof every project twice, first backwards and then “full-bore” forwards.

   In one year, Alfred writes and publishes 1 scientific article. In one year, Amanda writes and publishes 12 scientific articles, 7 magazine features, and 1 textbook.

   Alfred struggles for 3 weeks to write an article, and then it’s sent back to him with the notation that it “needs work.” Amanda writes an article in 7 hours, and it’s immediately accepted for publication.

   Every field or profession has its monsters. These are people or practices that either hurt other people directly or damage the whole profession. Science has researchers who falsify data, Law has unethical lawyers, Writing has Nessie, and—

   “What? Repeat that last bit, Pen Person, because it sounded like you said ‘Nessie,’ as in the Loch Ness Monster, which you can’t have done, surely, since she doesn’t exist.”